Choosing a Wedding Location

If someone were to ask what the hardest thing about planning a wedding was, what would you tell them? For most people, it's picking a location. Especially because just about everywhere that's big enough to hold a full wedding party books months or even years in advance!

That's why it's a good idea to start thinking about where you want to have the wedding as soon as you decide you're getting married. If you're planning on getting married in a church, be sure to speak to the pastor well ahead of time. For another location, however, you're probably going to have to do some scouting to find one that's going to suit you.

I always recommend my brides (and grooms) look for five things when choosing a location:

1) Find a spot that will host the reception too. That way no one has to travel, pictures don't become a hassle and everyone's happy.

2) Make sure it's not too far out of town. You don't want your wedding party to get lost en route.

3) The owner should allow you to rehearse and set up the day before, so you're not cramming everything in the day of the wedding.

4) There needs to be a kitchen. And bathrooms.

5) Find someplace pretty! This is going to be your big moment. The last thing you want is to remember that your wedding was marked by eau du garbage dump and the captivating sight of mud and burned down fields.

Remember, you're (probably) only doing this once. It's important to make sure you're creating the memory of a lifetime, not a memory you're going to spend a lifetime trying to forget!

The Long Distance Maid of Honor

As ideal a society as it would be if we all lived right next door to our best friend, sometimes life takes us in other directions. Which is great when it comes to seeing the world and coming back with some great stories but not so great when you're trying to be the Maid of Honor for a bride that's hundreds of miles away! So how can you still do your duties as the MOH when you can't actually be there to get them done?

First and foremost, accompany the bride on virtual shopping expeditions. Whether you use a cell phone camera or the Internet to look at catalogs, this lets you weigh in on things like bridesmaid's dresses, flowers, decorations and oh, I don't know…her wedding gown?

Visit. Often. And plan on coming back into town for at least two weeks before the wedding for the flurry of bridal showers, bachelorette parties and last minute preparations that are going to mark the event. That way you can be there to calm your best friend down when she panics because things are going wrong, gets cold feet two days before the wedding, or decides she hates her in-laws and tries to book a flight to Canada to get out of the event!

Remember, just because you're not right there next to her doesn't mean you can't take part. Let modern day technology work its miracles to make you the world's greatest long distance Maid of Honor.

How to Choose (or Create) the Perfect Wedding Planner

One of the most important investments you're going to make when you're putting together the pieces for your big day is your wedding planner. No, I'm not talking about the woman who steps in and puts everything together for you (although she's great to have around too!). I'm talking about the little three ring notebook full of lists, checklists and well intentioned advice for today's bride on a budget who's decided to take the organizing of her wedding into her own hands!

Choosing the right wedding planner is an important part of making your wedding planning process flow smoothly, saving you hundreds of dollars in Excedrin and helping you overcome the irresistible urge to elope as the big day gets closer! Why? Your planner's going to keep everything in one place, help you keep all the information you need at your fingertips and keep you from getting overwhelmed by letting you break the process down into bite sized pieces!

A poorly chosen planner isn't going to do any of that, so here's the advice I give my brides when they come in looking for wedding favors and panicking because the day is coming and they feel like they're farther away than they were when they started!

1) Choose a planner that has the different pieces broken into categories and has a place to prioritize by date so you know what has to be done, what you have to do to accomplish it and when you have to have it done to keep from losing thousands of dollars in deposits.

2) Pick a planner that gives you some basic guidelines, but leaves you plenty of room to personalize it for your plans. I've met some wedding planners that made me feel like I might as well be working with the real thing, because there was no wiggle room and I was left feeling more overwhelmed than I felt when I started! Online wedding planners are great for this, because you have access to a huge library of articles whenever you want without having to flip back and forth. Just keep in mind you can't take an online planner with you when you go wedding shopping!

3) Pick a planner that gives you information, not just lists. I love planners with practical advice on writing your own vows, choosing dresses for your bridesmaids and getting your flower girl and ring bearer down the aisle without tears, tantrums and a magically disappearing wedding band!

4) Choose a planner with pockets. Big ones. A three ring binder would be better. (You can also use a three ring binder to make your own wedding planner if you don't like the ones in the stores.) Some consultants recommend keeping a separate folder for receipts, etc. I say an extra folder is just one more thing I'm going to lose! Get a notebook that keeps it all in one place.


With a well organized wedding planner you'll have all the details under control and be able to sit back and enjoy the big day.

Deciding to Have a Civil Ceremony

A couple generations ago there was no such thing as a civil wedding. You either got a reverend, pastor or priest to do the ceremony or you weren't married! (Of course, that was also when common law marriages were considered legal. I think we should go back to those days sometimes!) Now you have a lot more choices than the local reverend, and the birth of the civil ceremony has sparked outrage in some families.

This is a touchy subject, so let me start by saying this: If you and your affianced share a religious background and want to be married according to your religion's statutes, that's fine. The number one thing you have to remember is that your wedding is all about you, and should be done according to your beliefs. The conflict that usually arises is when the couple either doesn't share religious beliefs (for example, a marriage between a member of the Islamic faith and a Wiccan) or when neither is particularly religious and doesn't want religion in the ceremony.

The conflict over a civil ceremony doesn't usually arise from the bride and the groom but from the family members who raised them and are shocked and appalled that religion isn't going to be a part of the most important day of their life. Many couples have compromised on this conflict, most by having a prayer luncheon/etc. prior to the wedding so they can be blessed in their family's religions without making it a part of their ceremony. Others have incorporated their religious beliefs into a joint religious/civil ceremony that makes everyone happy.

Remember, however, that this is your wedding. If you've decided that a civil ceremony is the right choice for you, stick to it. It's legally binding, and when you get down to it it's what's between you and your spouse that matters.

Don't Forget to Take a Break in Your Wedding Planning!

Is there anything that consumes our lives quite so completely as trying to plan a wedding? We spend all week going to work to be able to pay for the caterer, the DJ, the location, the dress, the bridesmaid's dresses…you get the idea! By the time you're done planning the wedding you don't care whether you get married or not, you just want it over with!

Don't forget to take a break in your wedding planning and have a little fun! Take your maid of honor out dancing, treat the parents of the bride and the groom to a barbeque and grab the groom and sneak away for an evening out on the water. Yes, your wedding is your big day, but it's not going to be your only day. When you boil it down to its roots it's really just a party to celebrate the beginning of your new life.

You wouldn't stress yourself out planning a casual party for all your friends in your living room. Don't let the fact that it's your wedding do you in! Toss away your planner and kick up your heels for the weekend. You'll be relaxed, refreshed and ready to go when Monday rolls around.

Planning a Wedding with Your In-Laws in Tow

One of the hardest things for any couple planning their wedding is setting the boundaries for the decisions their parents can (and can't!) make. They have your best interests at heart, but they've spent their entire lives planning your life and don't see much reason to stop now! Rather than tearing your hair out (or giving in to the temptation to elope after all) be proactive. Pretend you're dealing with small children-encourage them to participate, but give them small tasks that are going to be exclusively their domain and get on with what you have to do.

Moaning in agony at the thought of your mother or mother-in-law planning your wedding? Is there something she does extremely well? For example, could she handle creating the invitations, decorating the reception hall or organizing the wedding buffet? You've got a lot on your plate, and handing over those little tasks can take off a lot of the stress off you and give your family the opportunity they need to participate in your wedding planning-which is all they really want in the first place.

You're in the Spotlight! Is Your Best Man Speech Ready to Go?

There is, in my humble opinion, nothing cooler than having the opportunity to be front and center when someone you love ties the knot. I personally have been maid (and matron) of honor for a number of friends' weddings, and while I always enjoy being able to stand up at the altar with them my favorite part is the moment I get to put down my bouquet, pick up the microphone, and promptly humiliate someone I've known since I was a child.

It's a great moment.

Seriously though, the best man speech is one of the most important parts of the ceremony. It's the moment that the wedding party has the opportunity to promise to stand behind and support the bride and groom as they begin their new lives together. You're representing everyone else that was standing up at that altar, so it's important to make sure you do it right!

Are you intimidated yet? Don't be. After all, this is obviously someone who knows you well enough to ask you to be their best man in the first place. You should have no problem writing a speech that says the things you want to say...but if you are having a hard time, here are some tips to get you started:

1. Start by writing about your relationship with the bride and groom. This isn't your final copy, so don't pull your punches! How did you meet? How did they meet? What kind of relationship have you had with both of them from that day to this?
2. What are your favorite memories of the bride and groom, either separately or together? This can be good times you shared as children, memories as teenagers or opportunities you've had as adults.
3. What are your wishes for their future? This is a tricky one, because even if you don't wholeheartedly approve of the marriage you have to make it sound like you do! If you're married, share a little advice and some good wishes. If you're not married....stick to the good wishes, unless you have some great advice for the bride on how to deal with your best friend!

Now that you've got your notes, it's time to put it all together. Most groomsmen like to give their speeches sequentially, from the day they met to the day of the wedding. Don't forget to toss in a little humor! There's nothing like a dry, endless wedding speech to put you down in history as the worst best man ever. (That said, don't go overboard either. You don't want to embarass either one of them.)

The most important part of any best man speech is to say what you mean and mean what you say. As long as you're sincere your speech is going to be everything that you want it to be.

The Gluten Free Wedding Cake War Rages On...

The gluten free wedding wars rage on around here. The subject? Whether or not the bride should make all of the wedding cake treats gluten free or whether she should offer the regular, wheat filled variety for her guests who might be a little squeamish about dining on gluten free substitutes.

I think we finally found an acceptable solution to the gluten free wedding cake dilemma. She's going to toss the wedding cake aside altogether of favor of...are you ready for this?...wedding cupcakes! Apparently there's a company just outside of Washington, D.C. (the bride lives in VA) that offers a huge variety of flavors of wedding cupcakes-including gluten free. So they're going to do a couple of tiers of gluten free cupcakes for the bride and anyone else on a gluten free diet and a large selection for everyone else.

Weigh in with your opinion: What would you do with a gluten free wedding?

**Photo found at weddings.lovetoknow.com.

Gluten Free Wedding Cakes

Hi y'all! This is going to be a short post, because things are absolutely crazy around here, but do you remember that wedding I told you about earlier? Well, the bride has gluten problems, so we've been looking for a solution to the fact that she can't eat wedding cake. I was amazed to discover that there are a number of places across the country that now offer numerous gluten-free options when it comes to wedding cakes. Check out the directory!

http://celiacdisease.about.com/od/resourcesforceliacs/a/weddingcake.htm

Should You Buy Your Wedding Cake?

For most brides out there this is going to sound like the easiest question in the world. Of COURSE you're going to buy your wedding cake! Why wouldn't you? Buying a wedding cake definitely takes a load off your mind. If you're getting married in a hurry or can't afford the often atrocious cost of a wedding cake, or you have bakers in the family and can't possibly settle for a store bought cake, you have some alternatives.

Baking your own wedding cake isn't as hard as it sounds. It's going to take some time, of course, but it can be a great way to settle your nerves the day or two before the wedding while everyone else handles their own last minute details. You can also ask a family member to make your cake, especially if you have bakers in the family. This is a great way to get mothers and in-laws involved without going crazy!

Calming Those Pre-Wedding Jitters

You're happy to be getting married. You really are. So why are your knees knocking on the way to the altar?

Getting married is one of the biggest events in your life. Some pre-wedding jitters are to be expected. As a matter of fact, some people say it's bad luck to get married without them! Here are some great tips for putting a lid on your jitters and walking down the aisle with a smile on your face.

1. Do something the morning of the wedding that has nothing to do with the wedding-working out, for example. http://www.ehow.com/how_2278780_calm-prewedding-nerves.html
2. Sip wine (white) and play calming music while you're getting dressed. Classical music, music meant for meditation and other instrumentals are great for this one. I like Celtic music myself.
3. Burn some scented candles or other aromatherapy tools http://www.ehow.com/how_2278780_calm-prewedding-nerves.html
4. Enjoy being single for a night. Don't do anything foolish, but remind yourself that life doesn't end just because you're getting married. Go out by yourself or with some girlfriends and have a good time. Leaving the wedding planning behind and kicking back will leave you a LOT more relaxed. http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/independent-woman/love-sex/calm-those-prewedding-jitters-1398221.html
5. Tell someone! Your fears always seem bigger when you keep them to yourself. Telling someone else can help you let go and move forward with confidence.